Wednesday, November 12, 2008

Miss Congeniality is Bored

As I've mentioned before on this, & my first, blog -- the final touch to my daily morning beauty regime is to affix my Miss Congeniality sash. If I came to work wearing nuthin' but my birthday suit, they'd send me home cuz I forgot the sash. It's a good thing I live in hot country, cuz if I had to wear a cardigan to stay warm in the office or something, they wouldn't let me - it would obscure the sash. True story.

Every morning, standing in the small galley kitchen at the coffee machine playing Coffee Beeyotch (a Miss Congeniality duty, second in my heart only to Copy Machine Beeyotch and being entrusted with All Things Filing), I keep the coffee brewing and greet the coffee-drinking crew guys as they shuffle in and out.

My standard Miss Congeniality greeting: "How YOU doin'?"

Standard coffee-drinking crew guy responses:
"Here we go again."
"Same shit, different day."
"Back in the saddle .... "
"Another day, another dollar."
[variations on a theme, eh?]

Two of the Key Office Personnel are usually here just before I arrive, but they ignore my standard Miss Congeniality greeting. They're too busy with Very Important E-mails and seeing who the daily on-line calendar girl is. The third, My Boss, comes in after 9 and may or may not offer or respond to a greeting, depending on her experience with traffic during that day's commute. The fourth imparts a daily critique of my greeting -- doing his part, I guess, as the Official Bearer of the Miss Congeniality Standards Brochure in keeping me on my Miss Congeniality toes. Most-heard critiques: not enthusiastic enough, and my personal favorite, 'are we cranky today?' No, Sir -- it's just a tad too early for my double back with a full twist. I haven't warmed up yet. Yesterday I actually said, "I'm not going to bother even greeting you anymore if you're going to attach a judgment to it every time." But he was already deeply engrossed in his Very Important In-Box Material and didn't hear me. Good thing -- I'm certain I woulda received at least two demerits and maybe lost a letter off my Miss Congeniality sash. [Whew. Close call. I have to practice the policy: "Miss Congeniality may 'greet' but is not, actually, permitted to speak". At least not her mind.] Bored. My truck photos, magazine images and text, rub-ons, new Basic Grey paper from The Tuscan Rose, teeny file folder, watercolor crayon.