KK February Prompts #s 27 & 28 (The End, WAH!)

#27: Write a love letter to myself, or say what I don't hear often enough. "I am so proud of you!!!" #28: I Love You. "Camping with the three of you is an escape into Boy Land where I get to watch, & participate, outright. Football throwing & bait hooking & peeing outdoors & farting into the fire (& playing with the fire) & eating 3 hostess cupcakes in a single day & drinking beer & belching & just scratching whatever itches. These are things I love do with all of you, my 3 guys. GROOVIN'!"

I say The End because it's the end, for now, of my participation in the on-line prompt class. But Ms. Kelly Kilmer's classes continue, and I highly recommend them for fun, for experimentation, for a kick in the 'I don't know what to do' pants, for a great sense of community and commitment to a month-long project. You can sign up on her blog (see my side bar, Soul Food).

As for me, I have an altered book project awaiting me, my March commitment, along with my ongoing 2009 personal altered calendar. I also want to resume my pages in the Wandering Senses journal. And because I took my commitment to Kelly's prompts for February seriously, I've all but abandoned my written journal, so I still have 23 background pages prepped and waiting for words! I do have 49 'sides' remaining in my visual journal, which I intend to keep after -- but this time, I want to focus on coordinating my journaling with the backgrounds/images, hopefully via poetry.

SO STAY TUNED!

KK February Prompts: #s 21 - 26

#21: super hero powers I wanted as a kid. "I yearned to be able to talk to animals like Dr. Doolittle, especially cats and birds. Then in 4th grade, I read Madeleine L'Engle's book, A Wrinkle in Time, and became fascinated with the concept of time travel. Both still consume a lot of my writing and fantasy life. Movies like Somewhere in Time, Back to the Future, and The Horse Whisperer, and now Cesar Milan and his skill with dogs! Awesome! Bobfather (my brother) is a cat whisperer, except for Puma-Zoe!" #22: Worst teacher. "Mr. Smith, 8th grade algebra. Always had his back to us, or sat arrogantly in his desk chair saying, "Figure it out." To this day, I don't think HE understood the subject. Whatever interest I had left in math died that year." #23: How do I eat my veggies now/what's on my grocery list? "I will happily nosh on any veggie, raw or cooked, except sweet potatoes. But the veggie of all veggies is ASPARAGUS! Too bad it's so expensive. It even makes my pee smell good when I eat it! It really does!! Grilled veggies are best. My grocery list is always 'essentials': bread, milk, eggs, stuff for my two hoovers in the form of sons, the occasional treat like creamer and eggplant." #24: Bedtime Routine: "Bedtime is brushing teeth, washing off makeup, choosing/readying work outfit for the next day, including selecting my jewelry -- I love that part! Moisturize my face, beg BB to watch TV in the living room, snuggle into the covers but kick them OFF my feet -- then it's fantasy time. Where will I go tonight? Argentina? Prague? The ocean? What language? What occupation? Where do I live? What art supplies do I need? Who am I interacting with? Is it present day, the past, a parallel universe? Sometimes the fantasy influences my dreams. Sometimes it bores me to an early sleep. Sometimes it cleaves into bright fragments that later become poetry, a journal background, or a later fantasy. When I'm really tired, I decide what kind of bed I'd most like to be in, the linens, the room, the weather outside." #25: My best birthday: "Nags Head, age 13, spent the day on my own, at the pool, on the beach. Mom 'baked' my cake in an electric skillet, and I received my very first transistor radio! BLISS!" #26: What I would take with me: "Memories and the ocean."

KK February Prompts #'s 19 and 20

#19: In Phoenix, sunglasses are a survival tool, but I don't like them. #20 - Most Embarrassing Moment. "Once, I farted in the middle of a huge meeting: client, municipality, and contractor representatives, and my own bosses & project team. Everyone, even the women, even me, in power suits. And it was one of those whiners, like letting air out of a balloon. At the end, a happy little upnote: WHEET! It was obvious I did it - there was no escaping it. I blushed like only a fair-skinned blond can -- crimson from stem to stern. A L-O-O-N-G moment of silence -- then I just hiked my skirt up under my boobs, and in my best Steve Urkel voice, intoned, "Did I do that?" That broke the tension -- everyone laughed; I said excuse me and took my seat, very thankful that at least it didn't stink! [Because I still work in the industry & see many of the same people, I sometimes get greeted with, "Did I do that?" when I meet up with them again.]

KK February Prompts #'s 14 - 18

Prompt #14: One moment, replayed in words: "In the hospital room, April 2, 1991, gowned up, contracting steadily, thoroughly. My crotch, of course, facing the door, and for maybe two hours of contractions I had the mental space to be seriously ticked off by that. Double BB using the thumb and fingers of one hand to count me through: 1-2-3-F-O-O-U-U-R, long exhalation, start over. At 5 centimeters, everything stalled. Dad arrived, pitocin was given, and when that kicked in, BB got summoned to do admittance and insurance paper work. So he showed Dad what to do, and Dad took over seamlessly, tenderly, gently. 1-2-3-F-O-O-U-U-R. Took me 5 minutes to go from 5 to 7, and only another 5 to go from 7 to 10. I remember saying sternly, "I! WANT! TO! PUSH!" The nurse, surprised, checked me again and a flurry began. Hallway dash to the delivery room, hard stainless table, glaring lights, a different doctor, push, push, push, BB's hand in mind, push, push. But you stuck -- forceps tugged you out. I heard, "It's a boy!" and said, "YESSS!!!!!!", then began to shiver. The doctor tilted you up so I could have a look, then you got whisked away and I got enveloped in heated blankets while they stitched me up. 12:03 a.m., April 3, 1991: KEVIN DENNIS BROWN." Prompt #15: Favorite month: "Give me September, in her poncho of blazing color, fringed in falling leaves & redolent with the smell of fires, pine, north-tinged winds, the farewell songs of winged creatures lacing her with melodies. One last camping trip, school supplies & clothes, laying of blankets on beds & throws on the arms of sofas -- & pulling out a favorite pair of slippers. Hot chocolate on the patio in the slowly-darkening mornings." Least favorite time: "July in Phoenix is hardest -- sweltering & unfriendly with blistering light -- but then come the monsoons & my heart revives, captivated. Also, I struggle with the long space between President's Day and Memorial Day -- no time off, no holidays, just the relentless monotony of work & hurried weekends." Prompt #16: "Quiet on Sunday mornings -- too early even for the birds, just the coffee maker & my pen scuffing across a page. Pulse & daydreams make themselves known like strange chimes that only sound in windless air. Sustained thoughts a soundless internal vibration, lately pulled like threads woven back to my earliest memories, still beating." Prompt #17:"Amy, like a sparkling ruby just ahead of me, older by a sometimes critical, sometimes irrelevant, 5 years -- leading, but sharing, an energy bomb, a wildfire of talent and trouble -- how eager I was to emulate you, to glow in your cast shadow -- then somehow, suddenly, we were peers, & best friends. No topic too small or too large for us to tangle with, take on, or talk about. I've admired you since I was 5, loved you since I was 15, thought of you every day since then, stood up for you at your wedding, stood behind you when you separated-then-reconciled, met your kids & introduced you to mine, even loved one of your brothers. Geography is just a meaningless physical distance -- there has never been a moment's hesitation between us when we've closed that gap. I know you love me; you know I love you -- it's a simple and unique as all the history we've created together." Prompt #18: "I am the colors of the sea -- rich & robust beneath, in the under-currents, and shimmering with visions at the surface, permeated with tides that transform the colors and sometimes leave me only translucent, & cresting."

KK February Prompt #13

My first pet. A cat, we always had cats everywhere, inside and out, the occasional dog, and always a bird, including a bluejay named Cheep. He fell out of the nest as a baby, crushed one of his wings, so he never could fly -- but we had him FOREVER. He used to sit on my shoulder and preen my hair, take a strand in his beak and run his beak the full length of it. Very cool and soothing. Also, we were supposed to alter our focal image, draw on it, doodle or some such. I never read the journaling prompts when I do the backgrounds (like I keep saying, I love surprises) ... but when I got to the prompt, I couldn't do it. I couldn't 'hurt' this image -- I love it! I didn't even really want to write on the page.

KK February Prompt #12

Who inspires me? "Qualities inspire me: people who embrace change, are willing to act in and on themselves, to step through fear, habit, "the usual", and take risks."

KK February Prompt #11

What summer meant to me, what I did.

KK February 2009 Prompt #10

What I can't live without.

KK February Prompt #9

Something someone told me that I've never forgotten.

Kelly February Prompts #s 7 & 8

Prompt #7. "I am not actually an animal, although I most identify with wolves and big cats. I am a fish. I am a desert mermaid." Prompt #8. My favorite place: "Within, where exotic ideas intersect with my pulse, & simple rain-soaked breezes carry smiles and hints of my beloved oceans. There is my security and my launching, an empowering security, my heart's home. Inside, inside me, the catalyst to motion or stillness, to rage or passion, to art & words, and the wonder of drawing these breaths every moment. In, out, it's enough, and can take me everywhere, or nowhere, with grace & awareness. I am my own favorite place."

Note: Yesterday at the workshop, Kelly showed me her journal from the January prompts, and also the February journal (although I didn't peek past the prompts I'd already finished -- I LOVE surprises) ... her journals are shimmering, fascinating, full of cool-ass elements, but also SMALL! I guess I just didn't realize. On blog posts, you can't really discern the page size. My pages are all 8-1/2 x 11; no wonder I sometimes feel overwhelmed in my attempts to balance the elements! But again, I have to have a larger work area, too, and I LOVE going back through these fat & larger journals of mine.

Speaking of journals: I haven't done any backgrounds in my written journal for days and days now, and I can't stand writing on the white pages any longer! I'm off to see what I can see with that!

February 2009 Prompt #6

My workshop with Kelly Kilmer is tomorrow. Despite all evidence to the contrary, I'm not always the cheeky, confident wench you might envision (if that's what you envision!). Presently, I'm two things: a) rabid with excitement, which I told Kelly as a warning (ha!) and b) agonized with self-doubt. I never feel like I 'do well' at this kind of thing -- not the art part, but rather the grooving with a room full of women part. Like somehow I'm not a whole enough woman. Long story. Anyway, the prompt for today's journaling was to write a letter to myself, past, present, future [whatever I wanted] -- so I wrote to myself, tonight, about tomorrow. It's hard to read (my white paint pen is failing!), so here is the text. "My Precious Sirena [my soul name for myself] -- Remember your word for this journal is this: BELONG. Embrace this opportunity to use it as a verb and not just a word on paper. Be yourself -- this is the ancient advice and the truest practice. DO NOT WITHDRAW. Leave fear and inadequacy at the door. At home. Try something new -- the bliss of making art in the comfort and company of others. You've been longing for this -- an artistic collective. Beautiful woman, you DO belong -- I know it, and I wanted to let you hear from me before you go tomorrow."

February Prompt #5

My earliest memory.

February Prompts #3 and #4

Prompt #3.I substituted my yellow and magenta Bombay inks for those paint colors, where suggested, and I am thrilled with the results. I don't have any more magenta paint -- Michael's run on my horizon! I've carried this image around with me for umpteen years and it's perfect here. I confess: what I'm discovering with these prompts is that I want the backgrounds in my written journal, for later, for longer journal entries. This is a wonderful exercise to learn the color combinations, though. This page is my favorite of the 4 I've done so far. Prompt asked about a silly time or reason someone was mad at me. It took me forever to think of anything, which I was quite pleased about, also! Prompt #4. Hmm. Well, I confess I wasn't too unhappy about covering up this background. The crumpled house photo is a blown up copy of an old B&W photo in my stash; these homes were in England, the remains of a serious flood. [Thanks to my work buddy, Greg, for the original.] I DO like the polka dot vellum overlay (I didn't have a transfer page/paper) and blue dotted paper ... prompt was about what comforts me. I forgot to write BACK MASSAGES (one of which will be mine tonight, thanks Double BB!).

Kelly Kilmer's February Prompts Begin

I joined Kelly Kilmer's February Prompt-A-Day online class. Today I have spent the morning in sheer delight, creating pages following the first 2 prompts. Prompt(s) #2, having to do with my sweet tooth, past and present. Prompt(s) #1. This is hard to read, so here's what it says: "The first person I idolized was "Laurie" from the Partridge Family. I wanted braces so bad I used to hook a skinny rubber band around my front teeth. But Mom and Dad put a stop to that. When I learned to read, it was "Jo" from Little Women. I read it so many times Dad hid the book from me! Anais Nin is my journaling muse, although after reading the unexpurgated versions of her diaries, the idolization stopped. She became human to me, and that helped my own writing. Now, I don't have heroes or idolize anyone, but many people inspire me and I value that most!!