Wednesday, March 4, 2009

Near and Far

Marquis Cooper. I've been clinging to this face since news of the men being lost first hit the Internet. No reason that I understand, but this young man's dangerous situation and personality (and eyes) penetrated my heart. Yesterday, I had his picture (this picture) up on my monitor all day, and spent several long moments, over & over, focused, intense, gazing into his eyes and sending him WARMTH. That's the best I can come up with for what I was doing. WARMTH. Be it physical warmth, comfort warmth, Motherly warmth, a smile and a hand on his shoulder warmth, a quiet soothing voice in his mind/ear warmth. Whatever he might need. Was he still alive, then? Yesterday? My own oldest male child was on his way back from a trip to California, which of course induces that mother-worry thing -- will he be safe? Will the other drivers be smart? Every time something happens in the world to another young man, it conjures all the emotion I felt about my son's accident - there's NO stopping it, no shushing it. At the very least, I guess it has empowered me with a level of empathy I never had, prior.

My son came home. I received a son-hug and kiss, one of his famous heartbreakin' smiles, tales of his adventures. Meanwhile the search for Marquis Cooper, Corey Smith and William Bleakley was being called off.

Look at this photo of Marquis -- look, SEE, how young he really is!

I told My Lovely Mother on our ride home from work yesterday: there is so much, every hour of every day, to be anguished about, to the point that sometimes I can't bring myself to read the news. It seems, with me, that after a period of absorbing all this anguish, individual story by individual story, something about someone stops me cold, enters my full awareness, and all the accumulated grief expends itself as if on this one situation, when in fact it's the cumulative back-building of everything I've read and hurt over.

I don't know Marquis Cooper, but now he's become mine. A strange, sad honor.

9 comments:

Kimberpeas said...

This is a really beautiful post. My heart goes out to the family and friends of this young man. The pain of not know must be excruciating. I send him as much warmth as I can muster as well.

Thank you for making him yours.

flowrgirl1 said...

wonderful post. Its such a sad story! I couldnt believe it when i saw it. I hope that the families of these young men will find peace.

beth said...

I can't imagine the pain these families are going through...and you one of their angels !!!

LostLuggage said...

I was thinking about them all day yesterday too..especially when I read they called off the search...so sad..so really sad..

MuseSwings said...

When something as tragic as this happens nearby, as this did,I feel an additional sense of sadness and helplessness. Beautiful post!

cinner said...

beautiful post. i had not heard of this. very sad. my thoughts and prayers go out to all...i too sometimes have trouble watching the news as it can become very overwhelming. i am glad your son was there with you....

JonesMoore said...

Yes, my heart breaks when I hear of these things. And, I have a child myself who is about to take a solo trip in celebration of her 18th birthday and 'independence'...I think many of us pray, in our own way, for the children out there who are taking risks in some way. A wonderful post, thank you.

Holly said...

Your empathy for this sad situation is really wonderful. And, it makes us all stop and send our very best energy to those who grieve, and those who found themselves ripped out of this existence. You probably sense his spirit brushing by yours on his way to his next place. Much against my notions of ever being a mom, I find that I am. But, it's been only four years for me. And, now I find how a mother can worry about someone loved. Our Evan is in the Air Force and far from home. I am proud. And, worried. And, now, I can say, I join you and understand the capacity of a woman's heart to expand to become a Mother's Heart. Toni, Thanks for this post.

Kattytrick said...

You put it so well, discribed in words what others may have found hard to gather together in more then just sence and sensations!( Myself included) Well said___=^..^=___