Sunday, February 8, 2009

Sunday Bliss Hangover

Well, I didn't dream of decorative tapes after all (for which I'm very grateful). Instead, I dreamed this: a blogging friend of mine and I were playing hopscotch; our guys were watching some godawful shite on a big screen (I think it was pro wrestling) ... we were hopscotching our way to one end and then sipping a margarita, then hopscotching back and sipping another one ... and then Kelly arrived with her unbelievably HUGE tote bag of collage ephemera and we started collaging the hopscotch squares. .... hahahahahaha. HA! (but it WAS fun!)

It rained the entire night; I love that sound! Whatever bug I'd been fighting all last week arrived full force about 1 a.m., so after that I wasn't sleeping well -- cough cough, gut-busting ACHEW, blow nose, sip water, cough, get comfortable, start over -- so the rain seemed very soothing. It's still raining outside now; I'm sitting in my studio with my Kelly journal in my lap, like a reminder of all the good things I experienced yesterday that really have nothing to do with the journal but with the group of women, with Kelly, with that entire DAY and MYSELF IN IT. I have 25 million ideas for pages and layouts but feel so entirely lousy I'm going to wait it out.

My jazz station is playing delicious and perfect rain-accompaniment music -- lots of alto sax, some piano solo stuff. I just feel so relaxed, so ... changed. Like some big stoopid useless ugly piece of nonsense got thrown in that fire of delight yesterday, and opened up a gigantic, light-filled space inside of me. This, I think, is one of the payoffs of stepping through A Big Fear. I want to paint a page that's just a shimmering, sparkling white with a hint of gold and yellow, because that's how I feel inside, total permeation. Seriously, it changes, has changed, everything.

Ah, here comes Zoe, wondering why there is this THING in her spot in my lap -- she's sitting on the edge of the studio table like a small furry gargoyle, giving me THE EYE. Ok, little love, I'll move the journal, come on. The journal is wonderful, but it isn't capable of making dough in my lap, and it doesn't have chocolate pawlets either!

Kelly Kilmer, everyone, is returning to the Frenzy Stamper in May, so those of you who are in the vicinity have the opportunity to experience the Fire of Delight she is yourselves. As for me, I'm there, and I'm already recruiting!


rivergardenstudio said...

Your rainy day post is beautiful, quiet and though I can hear the rain drops and your jazz... and what a great dream! Roxanne

sharih yaakob said...

nice blog.informative!


Kelly Kilmer said...

it was GREAT to meet you Toni.
i hope to see you again ;)