Journaling, & Backgrounds

Journal Entry, Sunday, 07/20/08:
Not feeling sure about the journal backgrounds. I'm in one of those self-doubting places -- why do I do them? What's the point? Usually they aren't at all related to what I write on them, either. How do some people make the backgrounds seem like an integral part of the writing? If I do a background, it's then not ready for the writing, not until later (drying time - I HATE drying time!). And by then the interior mood that suits the background has altered.

Even if I did unbound backgrounds then selected the one that goes with my mood at the time I write, I'm not doing them concurrently.

It's bothering me now; but normally not.

The exercise of creating a layout is a separate one, for me, from the written expression. I background for relaxation, experimentation, fun, beauty, play. I write for reality, to go inward. One is an accompaniment to the other by virtue of accident. SOMETIMES (& I do like it when this happens), the layout and the events of my day coincide exactly. But obviously, given the pages and pages of journals I've filled, that's not a prerequisite.

Each background, I think, has to be "read" separately from what's written on it. I made the one today, for instance, 10 or 11 days ago. It's relevant on its own. All the images and combinations speak to me, and OF me. Today's words are a second layer, an overlay of sorts.

Sources: envelope liner, which opens (as does the one on the next scan) for more writing, various papers and stamps. I made this page the same night I posted about my pitiful banking error, trying to wrestle myself out of that foul mood! Sources: Envelope (looks like wood grain, huh?), various of my papers and stamps, text from my box of words/phrases I collect from -- EVERYWHERE!!! Sources: Envelope liner (SRP), stickers/tag from my collection, Lea Cioci rubber stamp image. I need to tuck my legs into my tail and churn some water, undulate, frolic, jump & leap with dolphins ... it's becoming critical! Sources: various papers, mine. Wisteria postcard from my collection. Grid/ledger, Gibson girl, women in a row from Victoria Trader magazine, also gold border. Rubber stamped image top left. I felt funky-feminine while making this (polka dots and wisteria, ya know?) But dreamy, summery, fresh, and sentimental. Sources: My papers, new and old. Images from a Victorian Trader magazine. Sunflower/Lily bouquet piece from a bouquet my mom ordered for a friend while she was in England. Woman from Mary Mata.
Sources: Vogue magazine image, my papers, rubber stamped image. Feeling -- well, sometimes don't you just want to be Catherine Zeta Jones in the first Zorro movie? I mean, admit it!
Sources: Palm trees/shells - Mary Mata. Tag - Tuscan rose. Papers - my stash. Stamped woman-with-text image. Words - Vogue magazine. I love Vogue magazine not for the fashion crapola, but for the kinds of imagery and words I always find in it. Oh, I am a mermaid in need of salt water, wild waves, jagged rocky cliffs, white spray, hidden black-sand beaches, driftwood. Image and stenciled-looking paper from Vogue magazine. Men in red, Mary Mata. Blue/gold tag, The Tuscan Rose. papers - my stash. Sources: castle photo a gift from Veronica. Swan is a copy of a postcard I recently won from Ebay. Papers from my stash. Stamps on top right from Mary Mata. Swans and castles, to me, both symbolize romance, a difficult one of course, battles and kings and swords and musketeers, but romance always wins out in the end. Picture 'First Knight' (Richard Gere, Sean Connery, Julia Ormond). Sources: Vogue magazine page, paper from The Scrap Diner. The woman with the bird was a gift, but I'm certain it came from The Tuscan Rose, one of her collage sheets. I saw this exact scene both in Paris (at Versailles, and one of the parks near the Eiffel Tower), and just about everywhere in Tuscany ... I ache/yearn inside, looking at it, to walk those paths again.