... & doesn't truth always follow resistance?

Mentally, many many days, this is what it looks like as I approach the door to my studio. Even though I love my studio, even though Zoe awaits me, and all those delicious supplies ... it's still lonely. Yes I can focus. Yes the music is always exactly what I want to hear. But the only other voices are those in my head. I don't want to resort to an imaginary friend.

And I don't want to hold my own hand all the time.

Art takes energy, effort, community, courage, stamina, concentration, playfulness, enthusiasm, start-the-list-over. How can anyone do it alone, let alone always?

Isolationista, my a**!

I've always experienced the MOST resistance when it comes to what I really really want and somehow believe I can't have, am not allowed, not worthy of. And then?

BEWARE THE BLUSTER!!!! But like any storm, it has to gather, grimace & groan & growl, then finally, expended, grovel at the knees of awareness, rinsed & revealed by the furious flow ...

... leaving me where I began, it seems,

knowing what is (facts)
and what also is (my personal fictions)
and what also STILL is --

I'm sitting, somewhere, alone.

[all photos from the A/W 2008 House&Home Toast catalog]