Friday, April 3, 2009

Friday Boy, & Blues? or .... ? somethin, anyway

A note (before I start payroll) to ... sigh ...

My youngest male child is eighteen years old as of 12:03 a.m. EIGHTEEN. A man, legally at least. Enough so that he has to register for the draft. That he's getting his driver's license without me. That he's graduating from high school in about 6 weeks. That he's entertaining athletic scholarship offers from schools that might conceivably take him pretty far out of my sphere, ya know?

I feel weird.
Not old, just weird.
Not bad or even good, just weird.

I'm listening to Tony Bennett, 'Playin with my friends', cuz it's quiet & soothing & sassy sometimes.
I'm thinking about my youngest's amazing amber eyes, how when he was a newborn and I breastfed him, he would rest one palm on the rounded part of my upper breast, and then open & close his fist in rhythm with his sucking. I'm thinking how he never took his eyes off me, ever, never drifted off to sleep, never did the heavy-lidded blinks ... just steady, constant eye contact. I'm thinking how his breathing then (& all his life since) could, & can, hypnotize me to sleep in a matter of seconds, and I'm notorious for my sleep difficulties. I'm thinking of his thick, kind of coarse, perfectly curled and heavy hair (when he lets it grow), and how I can't stop myself from running my fingers through it every time I pass him. I'm thinking how he loves salads & fruit & PEPPERONI pizza, Mom! I'm thinking how lately he likes to come out to the patio where I'm writing & roosting & talk to me while at the same time brushing his teeth & foaming at the mouth.

I'm thinking how much I love him.

14 comments:

Judy C said...

Oh Mama! I am ahead of you. My youngest is 31. But you brought back such dear memories of nursing my son. He did the same things. It was my great joy to nurse my children, a very close and loving moment in our lives. Thank you for the memories.

cinner said...

What a handsome young man! cherish every moment and it sounds like you do. If only all people could be so lucky to experience motherhood. It seems to me you are a great mom!

Carla said...

You speak my heart! My oldest turned 18 in March.

Here are Anna's stamps, I'll find the link to her blog later:

http://www.whippersnapperdesigns.com/store/shop/anna-wight-cling-mount-sets/anna-wight-collection

Holly said...

So, My Friend, it's truly Happy Birthday to both of you. I wish you both many happy returns of your combined day.

You Rock, Mom!

Wildeve said...

What a tender and real tribute to your son. Happy Birthday!

candy said...

you are such a good mom! awww! Those sound like great memories. What a handsome man!

:)
candy

candy said...

i see you've added a petey to your blog....nicely done!

Kattytrick said...

THAT!...was beautiful Toni. So well put and from your heart. I have 3 daughters. Ages 36,33 & 29. Sitting here now, my mind is adrift with thoughts much like the reflections you've shared with us here...Thank you__=^..^=__Kittie

lee said...

oh how handsome he is. What a lucky mother you are to have such a nice son.

beth said...

you know, my baby will be 18 in september and I could have written almost the exact same post about him....except that lately there are days when he drives me out of my mind with worry and concern because he thinks he knows it all and that I'm idiot !!!

ahhhh the joys of motherhood !!!
xoxoxo

soulbrush said...

what a touching post and what a handsome young man. my youngest is 33 and now a dad...and my oldest is 38 and a bachelor. where does the time go? inside i still feel 33 myself! happy happy times, BOYS ARE BEST.

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Cam@Journey Wildly said...

Toni- what a handsome young man you have there! It's his eyes, isn't it? You are right, the color and the depth...

Dylan is about to turn 10, and I am acutely aware of how fast time is slipping by.

Happy Birthday to your Ram. Aries are cool peeps. (of course, being a fire sign myself, Sag, I may be impartial)

:)

Alison said...

Wonderful stuff. xxx