Wednesday, June 11, 2008

My Marriage Vow - I Will Not Take You For Granted

Written Tuesday, 6/10/08, for Double BB:
[listening to the song "In the Red", title track from the Tina Dico CD]

Yes, find me with long-held fantasies & breathing you can't contain. Your dark eyes full of rainbows, fields, wet loam, desire. I can be all of that for you, too. I can open the rusty longings & spread myself across cautious hinges to cross to you. Easily. They don't matter -- boundaries. Just wishes & reach, old ideas made real in my touch, kisses back & forth treading discovery thresholds & hacking through caution tape. After all this time, let's pull it off, say, "Yes" again & anew, trample the known & cut a different path. Call me possibility. Push my edges until they blur, then beg. Understand my impatient throbbing & make a place for it in the center of your hand. Walk, walk, walk, all through my curiosity about what else could be, where haven't we been, what haven't I felt for you. Be a wind with no name, tipsy & grass-green. Love me. Make me roll & present my protected mind, my burdened moves, my notions of right & good enough -- tumble me, throw me through trees & walls, obliterate me until I'm erased & newly found. Yes! I want you! Yes! I want it like that -- raw, unsteady, inside out & heart-called. Say my name the way you hear it -- show me your way, any way, that way or this, make of me the animal Adam never met & could never have named.

Still, if I could have you (right now), it would be quietly, my flesh colorizing like light seeps through petals -- pale at the center, flushed at the tip, & reaching. Your name is a new stem, a shoot from the root of my desire. I have no explanation for my immediacy, this turn toward you -- but it is welcome, as ever. My flight is on puzzled currents, lit by loneliness for new knowledge of you, paced by curiosity & possible connections. Butterfly wings. You look at me & I am moved to open my flutter to give a dance & to whir by you, filled with give-away smiles. Loopy & minus my usual radar. I am so tired of certainty. Lose that. Lose flight patterns & turn hoola-hoop circles in the sky of meeting you -- loose, fluid, happy, nervous again. We're never nervous anymore, and I CRAVE that. Discovery. I want to be new to you all over again.

Oh, my coordinates, comfort, & coherence -- be lost in you!

Make wild turbulence of me. Please.

Rearrange my limbs - let my hand come out of my ribcage, my lips loiter on the tip of my thigh. See me in a way I've never been seen by anyone, even you! Can you do that? Make your kisses sift me, eradicate my footprints as they approach. Hide me in the curve of your cologne, cover me with your own armpit scent, drip sweat over my belly. I accept! Do you HEAR me? I am NOT always the same, what you expect or anticipate. I travel the whole color wheel; my passport bulges with the stamps of the world. Travel me. Can't we spin a globe of our own invention, talk in tongues and perfectly-aimed fingers? Our bodies have met & met & still lure the magnetic forces & gyrate the rules of gravity. Twister! My hand on your foot; your tongue on my shoulder, surprises, more, more, more! You give me the urge to scream & give it up.

But I am not as simple as this. I walk on parallel dimensions, through time clocks & under bell jars. Leaves & wind recite poetry to me, and I speak sky. I'm under your rivers, putting up my wrists to draw you down, down, down to this magic, this coursing feast of nipple & groin. You swim a very small resist & make me grow to a boulder, solid & blocking your escape. Flow to me, enter the glorious give, be liquid in me.

I pronounce: surrender is looking back. Give me those eyes & follow me ahead. Our path is yet waiting! Yes, it's always good. Yes, it's ever satiating. You know how to make me want, then deliver the closure that is still, somehow, open-ended & continuing to seek you. I join you, & thank you every time. Passion in mine -- come, again. Do.


rivergardenstudio said...

I love what you wrote about butterflies as a comment on my post and that they are still with you on this newest writing. Your descriptions are awesome! Roxanne

Beth said... and heavy !!!

Veronica said...

if only I had a tenth of what you have when it comes to expressing yourself. total awe here.

Carolina said...

Thud - I'm without words to express how amazing this is Toni...thanks for sharing!